How to Balance work and family?

[Waxman]

I feel like both work and family need more of my time, energy and focus.

How do you develop a system or mindset to effectively balance the two?

When one is emphasized, the other seems to suffer, and there must be a way to get around this phenomenon/circumstance. But how?

 

[sprocket]

I would tell you how I done it but my exwife tells me I got it all wrong.[ and she made me pay for doing it so wrong] .

 

[Keith Baker]

It's tough.

When I first started in business, I worked 60 or more hours per week minimum and my wife was willing to be the full time "soccer mom". The small business we owned was successful enough to make a fair living on one income, and we were willing to do without luxuries. She kept the kids in softball, scouts, swimming, etc. I was able to get to some of the games and help with some of the scouting activities. We took short camping vacations most of the time. This doesn't work for everyone.

The one piece of advise that I can give you is to delegate as much responsibility as you can. I know no one can do the work as good as you can, but trying to do everything yourself is a good way to suffer burn out. Finding someone to delegate responsibilities to takes a lot of work and luck too. You can go through a quite a few bad candidates before you find someone worth keeping.

Hang in there, its worth it.

Keith

 

[PaulLovesJamie]

Figure out what matters most to you, & prioritize accordingly. It was easy for me, family comes first. Yes I paid a huge price for that, but I'd pay it every time.

 

[bigleo48]

Hey Waxman,

Finding balance is tough, but I don't look at it that way. You're a fairly young guy (I think I have 15 years or so on you). When you start pushing 50, and some people you know have heart attacks or get cancer and you see yourself age, it puts things in perspective. You only have so many days in your life and there may be far less than you think. Then it becomes a question of how you spend them, or as you put it, family vs. money. Both are important, but what do you live for?

I recently left a six figure job to spend more time with my family. I never miss any of my kids stuff unless they are simultaneous. My stress level is way down and I have time to "smell the flowers". I look forward to selling the wash in a few years to have all my time back and still be relatively young. But I learn that the hard way. I worked building the wash while working full time. The stress got our family to the breaking point. My wife pulled me back.

I guess this is a long way of agreeing with Paul.

Big

 

[Washmee]

The time I get to spend with my family is worth way more than money. I accept that I can't control what goes on at my wash every minute that I'm not there, but I have a couple of trusted employees who make sure things are going in the right direction. Life is short, live it!

 

[raisetheprice]

That's easy... God, family, work.

 

[Earl Weiss]

learn to accept that since you are the only one to make the business operate to it's fullest potential 100% of the time that when you are not there it may vary well cost you in terms of dollars but that cost will be outweighed through some other personal satisfactioon.

 

[pitzerwm]

Since, I was ADD, the empire was a drug. I didn't have children so there were none to suffer. I must admit that I went through women like underwear. IMO if you have a family, you do owe them your time. there is no doubt small business people like us, to be a success you need to spend more than 9-5 "on the job".

One thing that you can do is install a lot of high tech stuff, so you can spend more time with the family, but would know if there was a disaster.

I carried a large brick 2-way radio long before cell phones, so that I could be in two places at once.

 

[robert roman]

"I feel like both work and family need more of my time, energy and focus. How do you develop a system or mindset to effectively balance the two?"

By saying both "work and family," I believe you may have meant to say you need for "more" time, energy and focus rather than "balance." Yes, no?

If you feel like you just don't have enough time, energy and focus every day, perhaps your goals and objectives are too ambitious.

Otherwise, Bill strikes a cord with the doing more with less notion. If you want "more," look for practical ways to do things more efficiently.

Another risk of small business ownership is to become too embroiled in all aspects of the operation.

A big time waster in small business is people who have difficulty in organizing and training people and delegating to them.

 

[Waxman]

Thank you all for the thoughtful and helpful replies. Your experience and wisdom are just what I was looking for.

 

[Eric H]

I found that if I take a break from the internet for a day or two I get a bunch of stuff accomplished.
I also get up at 5 am no matter what I have to do that day. Getting out early to weed the garden, walk the dogs, and get some shopping done (HD and Walmart open at 6am) before the kids get up on weekends knocks a few things off of my punch list.

 

[MEP001]

There's a 5 AM now?

 

[I.B. Washincars]

There's a 5 AM now?

Yes, it's when I get up to pee and go back to bed.

 

[Sequoia]

Balance

Smart people build businesses that they can run to near perfection while maximizing success and profits.

Really, really smart people build businesses that grow over time to running themselves without the input and efforts of the owner. Doing that requires a different focus than maintaining the hands-on, "I am in control" approach that so many of us take.

When you achieve building a business that runs itself yet spins off cash and profits for you, then you have a lot more time and room for family and other pursuits. Not to mention when you go to sell your business it will be worth more and be an easier transition for you and a buyer.