Sometimes you just have to laugh

[1carwash1]

Funny quotes... add yours to the list

Absentee owner
owner lost interest
tremendous upside potential
no competition
work one hour per week
just collect quarters
play golf and collect money
with advertising could easily double business
priced under market
owner financing with 50% down, 3 year call
land bank
out of state owner
runs itself
it's a steal
hurry up, we have other offers coming in
4.2% cap rate
high growth business
no financials available
explosive growth industry
and my all time favorite...."CASH COW"

 

[JeffM]

How about:
"Fresh scratch" (Always wondered what makes it fresh)

"Factory Zip-Ties" - I had a customer once tell me that the lime green zip-ties that were holding his (now hanging off the vehicle) driver side mirror were installed by Saturn when the vehicle was built.

 

[Washmee]

I know those scratches weren't there before I washed it.

 

[Jeff_L]

Recent conversation:

Scene - owner walks up on a customer using the foaming brush with no foam. Owner assumes, and verifies the assumption that the meter has ran out of time. Owner decides to politely explain the use of the foaming brush and that the meter needs to be running with foam coming out.

Action!
O: "Good morning sir. Is the foaming brush working okay?"
C: "Yep"
O: "Great to hear, oh, but I see you're not getting out any foam. Maybe there's a problem with my system?"
C: "Oh?"
O: "Oh wait, I'm sorry, it appears the meter ran out of time."
C: "Oh that's okay."
O: "Well, not really, you run the risk of damaging your car."
C: "That's okay, it's just an old car."
O: "Oh I see, but you also run the risk of damaging the equipment when using the brush and not having any foam soap coming out. It lubricates the bristles and prevents any problems."

Customer starts to realize where the owner is going with this

O: "Sir, I really need you to have the meter running with soap coming out. I provide this equipment for your use as a rental, not to be used for free."
C: "Are you kidding me? I can't believe you're talking to customers that way. You don't know how to run a business."
O: "Sir, I'm simply explaining how the process is supposed to work. By you using equipment for free the business doesn't make any revenue to pay the bills....
C: "Go f&%k yourself."
O: "Sir, I'm sorry you feel that way. Since we cannot come to an agreement and you're using vulgar language, please leave the premises."
C: "I didn't use vulgar language."
O: "Sir, you did, and I don't condone it on the premises, I'm asking you to leave."
C: "I'm going to rinse off my car and never come back."
O: "Very well, I'm sorry to hear that, please drive safe."

He spent another $2 rinsing off his car...

Moral of the story....Maybe this owner should invest in the Wobble Head brush attachment.

 

[cantbreak80]

Recent conversation:

C: "Go f&%k yourself."
O: "Sir, I'm sorry you feel that way. Since we cannot come to an agreement and you're using vulgar language, please leave the premises."
C: "I didn't use vulgar language."
O: "Sir, you did, and I don't condone it on the premises, I'm asking you to leave."
C: "I'm going to rinse off my car and never come back."
O: "No Sir, You're not. Now I'm telling you...Leave now!!"

Fixed it for ya

 

[Earl Weiss]

Luv the F type comments; My responses

"F - You"
I'm sorry, I only like women, not that theres anything wrong with your preference it's just not my thing.
If it's an unattractive woman. I know that's what you want but I'm sorry, you are not my type. If she's attractive O.K. now?

"You MF"
I'm sorry I do not even know your mother - no matter what she is telling you.

"You SOB"
Mom, is that anyway to talk.

 

[pitzerwm]

I told my employees that they should "work with the customer" until they used a 4 letter word, then it was "you leave or I call 911" Conversation over. For me sometimes, I let them blow off steam if I thought it would solve the issue, but usually I too, would say, "Leave or I call 911 and charge you with assault.

 

[rph9168]

I never gave or let employees take any verbal abuse. I told them to either walk away from it or ask the person to leave.

 

[bigleo48]

Moral of the story....Maybe this owner should invest in the Wobble Head brush attachment.

I really disliked those conversations and always ruined my day as I would spend the rest of it thinking about how I handled it and if I should have spoken to the customer at all.

I have now converted all my FB to wobbleheads. I point to the sign and explain how and why it works the way it does and that's it...I walk away (only happen twice so far as most people get it). The next move is up to the customer, but there are no confrontations anymore.

 

[Jeff_L]

I really disliked those conversations and always ruined my day as I would spend the rest of it thinking about how I handled it and if I should have spoken to the customer at all...

I agree, never want to make someone upset like that. It just sucks they can't, or don't want to understand the reasons why.

 

[Eric H]

I agree, never want to make someone upset like that. It just sucks they can't, or don't want to understand the reasons why.

Rest assured that most of your customers do get it. There have been plenty of times that I've had to speak to someone about abuse of some kind and had another customer give me a knowing wink or reassuring comment as I walk away.

 

[chadrpalmer]

The one exception to the no profanity rule at the facilities I've managed is that if we just smashed the heck out of your car somehow, you get a five minute window to vent, then we return to communicating like human beings.

 

[DiamondWash]

If they would make the Wobble head more affordable for operators then I could see it being a regular bought item but at $150 a pop that conversation is going to stay for a while.

 

[MEP001]

If they would make the Wobble head more affordable for operators then I could see it being a regular bought item but at $150 a pop that conversation is going to stay for a while.

I don't see it as an investment at that cost either, but that's because I see almost no abuse of the brush. If we had 3 months of weather where I saw people trying to wash for free when we could/should be making money, I might consider it.

Assuming it's a quality product, it should be worth a premium price.