The truth on ending life... my sister Diane

[Ben's Car Wash]

Last night I took my sister off the ventilator in the presenance of my mother and brothers, her boy friend and a few others. It took 45 minutes until her life ended on this Earth. Unlike what people remember from the Terri Schiavo mess of a few years ago... my sister wasn't even brain dead.... Florida law allows for the removal of life support by a physican for any reason... even President Bush signed a law letting hospitals withdraw life support over family distress. (I say this so other don't accuse me of murder)

Diane had a severe bacteria pnemonia that was resitant to anti-biotics. In a few days her organs would fail. Her lungs never improved and were only getting worse after being on the vent for a week. She had some liver disease from alcoholism and no pancreas from recurrent bouts of pancreatitis so she was in constant pain. She never stopped drinking... even though she attended AA everyday at noon!

Diane was a kind soul, but lost in many ways. She began smoking at 9 years old and experimenting with drugs before she was 12. By 14 she was running away from home and stealing my dads car. She left home before she was 16 and I rearely saw her. Durring my years ill and hospitalized in Shriners Hospital my older brothers came to see me (over an 8 year period) maybe twice! Diane... who lived in caves, garages, other people flop houses or where ever she could shack up would hitch hike across Philly to come and see me.... once getting picked up by a State trooper who gave her a ride 30 miles to Shriners.

Diane developed bi-polar manic depressive disorder, multiple personalitly disorder along with her alcoholism. She put my family thru HELL.

In the end... we were all still there for her. I thought I would share that with you.

 

[Washmee]

Sorry for your loss Doug. It sounds like you did what any loving brother would do for his sister. I have had to make similar decisions on several occasions in the last 5 years and I know its tough to loose a loved one.

 

[Fatboy769]

Doug, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. I know this is a very trying time in your life and situations like this make car wash problems seem so trivial.


Scott

 

[pitzerwm]

I'm sorry for your loss and pain. Unfortunately, different states different laws. They kept my mother alive on IV for 9 months to the tune of $1M, eventually, my father couldn't take it and he did "cause her death" thankfully the coroner understood and put down that she died of cancer, which she didn't have. Oregon of all states finally got a Right to die law through the courts which other states can pass eventually.

Anyone that accuse you of playing God, can kiss my .......

 

[rph9168]

Doug, I am sure that was not an easy decision but I agree that it was the best one. Unfortunately it appears that her life style took a toll both on her and your family. You have my sincere condolences.

 

[Ben's Car Wash]

Thank you gentleman,

Bill, Oregon has one of the most "liberal" right to die laws in the US..... basically legalized assisted suicide. I'm not sure that I'm even for that. These are very personal decissions between families and their doctors...which is where they need to stay. One brother thought we should have took her off the ventilator the first day and put a bullet in her head (my oldest who had alway been tough on her), the other brother wanted to see every report and speak to every doctor before taking my advise (he didn't think he needed to fly down here initally until I told him that we'd have a memorial service by time he got the time off). So the differances are stark between family members and how we weave them into what is best for our loved ones.... each of us have differing views of life & death, heaven & hell or in salvation or the guilt of causing ones death. Even if that requires the removal of life support. I was responcable for putting in the tube last tuesday night... I took the responcibility to remove it last night.... thank GOD we all agreed. Unfortunatly this is not what happened to Terri Schiavo and many others so it is SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE YOUR WISHES IN WRITING. That's all I can stress about that... have your wishes known.

I'll post a few story's of her antics below.... funny $hit!

 

[Ben's Car Wash]

Back around 1985 my sis was living with her boyfriend in Germantown area of Philly and sharing the apt with another guy. Durring this time my oldest brother Dan was a pipefitter on Nuke Subs in Portsmouth Navel yard in NH. Dan had top security clearance because he had the plans to all the plumbing of our newest nuke fishes.... including the powerhouse (reactors).

One day Dan gets a visit from the FBI and Navel Intel at the base. They question him about how well he knows my sister Diane and who she lives with. He tells them he doesn't speak to her or know who she lives with at this time. They inform my brother that the roommate is the leader of the American Communist party and editor of the American Communist newspaper! My mom got a call from my brother after they left..... looking to kick my sisters a$$ (this explains why he wanted to put a bullet in her the other night!).

Diane was never political... (I don't think she ever voted) she didn't even know who the guy was, just that he wrote for a newspaper. About a month later her boyfriend shoved her head into a wall and knocked her out... he got scared and took her to the hospital... they called me and I took her home with me. She became a victim alot just to be loved.

 

[Ben's Car Wash]

My sister had a bong collection on her wall shelves, about 4-5 of them. My mom thought they were decorative blown glass! One day my mom was cleaning my sisters room and putting cloths away. At this time my sister was living at home again. She would come back for 6 months at a time then leave after she didn't follow the rules (anti-social behavior). My father took her to 3-4 psychiatrist up until 18 years old... nothing helped. He nailed the windows shut in her bedroom to stop her from sneaking out at night, hid the keys to the car... even put on a locking gas cap. Once Diane stole the car... it was my father first new car he ever owned a Gremlin (horrible car). She hit a bump so hard with 5 other kids in the car and bottomed out the oil pan... knocked the oil pan off.... drained the crank case... drove it home hot and ceased it up in the lot behind my home.

Later my mom found $5,000 in my sister's cloths drawer (back to the top story). She said that she was holding it for a friend. A few years went by:

cont;

 

[Ben's Car Wash]

The phone calls came, men in black showed up at the home looking for a middle Eastern man. Seems my sister married some one to get him in the country then he split and was muling drugs in California! It gets better!

The calls kept coming from this guy looking for Diane. She no long lived with us... I just moved from West Philly to Florida and worked in ICU. My one brother was still in Portsmith in the Navy and the other was in X-ray school (Dave). The guy was very threatening for weeks saying that he was going to harm my family if we told the investigators what Diane had done. She was being subpoenaed by INS to deport this guy. David was getting home one Wednesday from X-ray school and decided to take a bath (we only had one small bathroom in our little row home). As he was soaking naked in the tub he heard the front door open... the dog never barked! A man's foot steps were heard down stairs..... a voice was speaking softly "I'm coming to get you...I'm going to kill you".

Dave was on Penn States Skeet shooting team and kept a shot gun in his bedroom closet. He got up out of the tub and went into the bedroom next to the bathroom. He heard the foot step coming up the stairs and the voice getting louder "I'm coming to get you... I'm going to kill you"! Dave was franticly looking for the shot gun shells... he couldn't find them.... naked and scared he decided to open the door and point the gun at this guy. He jump to the top of the stair case... naked... pointed the shot gun and pumped it... RIGHT AT THE PEST GUY WHO MY MOM GAVE THE KEY TOO! The kid ran screaming out of the house and too this day.. we have never seen him again! My brother called me.... crying....trembling.... saying had he had shells in that gun he might have killed that kid. I laughed my ass off at the story! Dave got rid of the shot gun the next week. My sister gave a deposition and her "legal husband" was deported. Later she got married... which made her a bigamist!

My God... what she put us through!