The Moron Factor

[Red Baron]

Last week I closed all bays because it was pouring rain all day and I needed to get some mainteance done. I have a heavy duty squeegee at my outside bay that customers use to push their mud off to the side when finished. I pulled up to find about a 25 year old guy who discovered my equipment was off (the orange cones weren't clue enough), so he was scaping huge chunks of mud off in my bay using my squeegee.

The conversation when like this:

Me: Sir we're closed.
Moron: Closed? What the #### do you mean, this is a ####### car wash!
Me: Yes it is a car wash, and it's closed.
Me: What the #### am I supposed to do with this mud?
Me: I dunno but you can't leave it here.
Moron: [as he walks menacingly to my truck] What the ### kind of ####### car wash are you running here?
Me: [patience waning] Look, this is America where when you sped your own money to build a business you get to run it the way you choose.
Moron: Well obviously you don't know a #### thing about running a car wash.
Me: Look bud, if you wanna make your own rules at a car wash, grab a half million dollars and go build one of your own.
Moron: #### you!
Me: [patience now gone] Look boy, you're obviously too stupid to use a car wash, so you need to leave my property.

I didn't handle it as well as I'd like, and in fact I sent him a letter apologizing, but sheemanee christmas, people think we're running a maid service.

 

[pitzerwm]

Sounded like the right way to handle it. Some people are too stupid to be a customer. At least you didn't shoot him.

 

[Whale of a Wash]

Why Apoligize- Now he knows he was right! Your wash will be better off without him!
John

 

[MEP001]

A friend told me recently that he had a customer who couldn't get a bay to start. He told her "Ma'am, the bay was closed."

"Well, how was I supposed to know?"

"By the cone that was blocking the bay which is now under your car."

"Oh, well I didn't know why it was there so I just drove over it."

Many years ago I replaced a boiler at a wash and waited 'til 10 PM to shut it down. At about 3 AM someone pulled in and after seeing cones and caution tape blocking all the bays asked "Is it closed?" I told him yes, and that I had to shut it down to replace the boiler. "Well, I need to wash my ****ing car! Who the **** ever heard of closing a car wash?" I just walked away, which ****ed him off even more.

I've said this before: stupidity like that seems to be regional. At our wash, if I have to close the auto (or the whole wash in the case of a power failure, happened three times so far) people are disappointed but understanding. No one's ever taken it out on me like I've gotten it in other places.

 

[Red Baron]

Why Apoligize- Now he knows he was right! Your wash will be better off without him!
John

My letter apologized for my unprofessionalism (in response to his vulgarity), but explained our policies. I'd also told him that, even when we're open, customers are asked to clean up their own mess ("Leave The Bay As Clean As You Found It"), which he also thought was preposterous. I have been emboldened with these policies now that many of the car washes in nearby Lubbock have put up "No heavy Mud Deposits" signs. If every car wash owner would do this it would make life a lot easier for all of us.

I had my worst incident yet at the car wash this week. A lady and her 2 kids came to the wash at midnight and cleaned up a gallon of paint that spilled in her trunk. They had mint green paint on every friggin thing in the bay, on my vac hose, walls, mat holders, and tracked all over the place. My wand wouldn't touch it after it dried -- I had to get my son to use his 4,000 psi + 230 degree heat pressure washing rig (banditrestoration.com) to clean up the mess. Among their paint-coated trash I found a jury summons from McKinney Texas with their name on it, but so far that's a dead end street. If I could find out who it was I'd press charges in a nanosecond.

 

[Chiefs]

OK, OK, another war story. For the summer we've lowered the price of our 5 wash books fom $40 to $35. Two signs say "Car Wash $7.00 When you buy a 5 wash book for $35"

Customer comes in Thursday wanting to pay only $7.00 and not buy a book. Says, "The sign say car wash $7.00." With a similar sign in the tunnel, I point to it and tell her to read the rest of the sign.

Customer: See, it says car wash $7.00.

Me: What else does the sign say?

Customer: I don't care about the rest of the sign.

Me: Ma'am. either you pay $10, buy a 5 wash book for $35 or we have to back you off.

Customer starts cussing me out, says she's only paying $7.00.

Me: Ma'am, There are thre other customer behind you waiting and you are interfering with my business, Now I've told you the prices and your options. I know you'r enot stupid and I am trying not to insult your intelligence, so don't insult mine Now I'm telling you put your car in reverse and back out. She says I'm not moving, cussing me out all the while. I told her OK, picked up the phone and dialed 911, Finally she backs out, I called and cancelled the police call. With patience a bit frayed, I gave her the ultimate treatment, Do me a favor and don't ever come back here again!

Forrest Gump was right, "Stupid is as stupid does"!

I know you always attract more flies with honey the vinegar, but sometimes using vinegar is all you have.

We all could go on an and on about stupid customers. I'm sure it would end up being the posting with the most responses any of these buletin boards - and one that would never end, butbe wuite humorous nonetheless. I am always amazed at how many customers think that they can treat you like crap just because you own or work at a car wash. But I'm sure she'll go to church on Sunday and pray to God. Too bad she doesn't (or the rest of us) practice her/our beliefs the other 6 days a week.

 

[Red Baron]

But I'm sure she'll go to church on Sunday and pray to God. Too bad she doesn't (or the rest of us) practice her/our beliefs the other 6 days a week.

Amen!

My most-used phrase at the car wash, when customers go stupid has become, "This is a car wash not a maid service."

I decided long ago that 2% of my customers create 95% of the problems, messes and frustration...and I'm happy for that 2% of my revenue to go away if those customers will go away. I operate in a small town and I know for a fact that I have a reputation for being an #######, but my business is up every quarter since I opened 3-1/2 years ago, so the conclusion I've reached is that most of my customers appreciate that I run off customers who trash the place.

 

[Jim L.]

My phrase is the car wash is not the "city dump".

For a long time I thought it was the water that was killing the brain cells of my customers. I know know it is something else and has spread all over the country.

 

[MEP001]

I decided long ago that 2% of my customers create 95% of the problems, messes and frustration...and I'm happy for that 2% of my revenue to go away if those customers will go away. I operate in a small town and I know for a fact that I have a reputation for being an #######, but my business is up every quarter since I opened 3-1/2 years ago, so the conclusion I've reached is that most of my customers appreciate that I run off customers who trash the place.

I feel the same way, and have seen the same trend. Despite almost everyone else in the area saying they're down, we're still seeing a slow but steady increase. I do my best to stop the big mess-makers before they get started, some of which I've seen doing it before on video. My workload is less, my stress factor is less, the "good" customers are happy and compliment me on the place all the time, so who needs their few dollars a month to wash out their bed?

I know I've ****ed off a lot of people, but I won't be a doormat. My favorite phrase is "Your mom isn't here to pick up after you."

 

[Red Baron]

I feel the same way, and have seen the same trend. Despite almost everyone else in the area saying they're down, we're still seeing a slow but steady increase. I do my best to stop the big mess-makers before they get started, some of which I've seen doing it before on video. My workload is less, my stress factor is less, the "good" customers are happy and compliment me on the place all the time, so who needs their few dollars a month to wash out their bed?

I know I've ****ed off a lot of people, but I won't be a doormat. My favorite phrase is "Your mom isn't here to pick up after you."

I followed Pitzer's lead on mess makers and I've never regretted it. The general public has been conditioned to treat car washes the way they do. I think that the advent of cameras has gone a long way toward helping customers realize that big messes have never been ok, it's just that now we can identify the culprits.

Once or twice, after a customer suggests I shouldn't try to control what goes on here, I've lost my cool and told them: "Look, if I want to allow only red Volkswagons to use my car wash, that's my call. The 2 options avialable to you are to abide by my posted rules or don't use my wash."

 

[Kevin James]

This kind of goes to show ya that the vast majority of the customers that use Self Serve Car washes are from the lower economic class or just plain ole TRASH!! They think they can come in at anytime of the day or night and do what ever they want. I?ve been toe to toe with more than one customer and it gives me great pleasure to kick the stupid losers off my property, if they don?t more fast enough I call the police, I have their number in my speed dial. I?m not going to put up with any of there crap. Thank God I work swing shift now so I don?t have to have any or little contact with my customers, I go the wash on my way home at 1 AM. My wife WILL NOT go to the wash by herself as she feels threatened by the clientele. There?s no way that I write a letter of apology to the SOB.

 

[Red Baron]

Mine was a two wrongs don't make a right kinda thing. I apologized to him, for me, as much as I did for him.

I have reached all kinds of conclusions about society by having this wash, especially when my cameras allow me to see the common threads. One of those conclusions is that, generally, grandpa was right when he said "Poor people have poor ways." He didn't mean that to denigrate any group of people, I now know. E.g., the customers who empty their ashtrays of pennies onto the parking lot are those who can least afford to throw away money. Conversely, often it is the wealthy farmer who sees those pennies in the dirt and stoops to pick them up.

I guess I've learned more about success by observing the traits of successful vs. poor people, than any book or class ever taught me.

 

[washnvac]

Red Baron...... you are right. I once owned two fast food restaurants. One was in an area w/ $38k+ household income, and one was $22k+. When I ran coupon flights, the higher income area used them like crazy. But the lower income are only redeemed about 1-2%. You would think it would be the opposite. The ones that needed the savings would not use coupons. So....I stopped. Strange, huh?

 

[MEP001]

It must be that the smarter people are also smarter with their money. Years ago when I was an attendant at a wash in a fairly low-end area, I'd find tons of money in the vacs, nice bath towels used for drying cars and thrown away, way more spent on vending and less brought with them. I see all the opposites at our wash, which is more upper-middle class.

 

[Earl Weiss]

Guy pulls to tunnel entrance and notices he forgot to close his gas door when fueling. Gets out of the car to close it. Forgets to take car out of drive. Car goes thru tunnel without him under it's own power. At the exit a guy tries to get in and stop it, but is unsuccessful and the car hits the wall. Says it's our fault becuase the guy was unsuccessful in his attempt to stop it.

 

[Danny]

Why do problem customers think their ideas will work? Do they really think they are the first or inventive with "you scratched my car", "thats not the price", "I asked for the paid the higher package" or "the wax didn't come on wash it again"? This is one area I really have to give credit to you guys, I don't think I could deal with those customers day in and day out. Instead I choose to deal with you and listen to all your stories LOL. I will take a business owners or managers anyday over Joe Smoe general public.

 

[Red Baron]

Why do problem customers think their ideas will work? Do they really think they are the first or inventive with "you scratched my car", "thats not the price", "I asked for the paid the higher package" or "the wax didn't come on wash it again"? This is one area I really have to give credit to you guys, I don't think I could deal with those customers day in and day out. Instead I choose to deal with you and listen to all your stories LOL. I will take a business owners or managers anyday over Joe Smoe general public.

That's why our roofing company stopped doing residential roofing 20 years ago in favor of commercial. When the business owner gets a leak on a desk, it's desk, a piece of property with a finite value. When ma & pa get a leak on their coffee table, it was a family heirloom worth $50,000.

 

[Danny]

That's why our roofing company stopped doing residential roofing 20 years ago in favor of commercial. When the business owner gets a leak on a desk, it's desk, a piece of property with a finite value. When ma & pa get a leak on their coffee table, it was a family heirloom worth $50,000.

And ma & pa want to blame you for THEIR roof leaking on THEIR table and THEIR lack of effort in not putting a bucket under it. Oh and it is also your fault you do good work and too busy to take care of them right now!
I call a car wash owner and tell them I have to backorder them because the manufacturer backordered my order, they understand this happens in business. So much less BS to deal with, more honest answers.

Did I mention how much I prefer doing business with you guys? LOL

 

[raisetheprice]

I've heard it all too...but this one was my favorite, ''you need dria fo 4 dolla"....me..."no I don't, now give me your money"


I had an employee wanting me to drop prices to increase car count. "We can make this thing do a million cars, blah blah blah." I finally heard enough and told him...we are not dropping prices, in fact I'm going up. If you want to drop the prices, write me a check for $850K and I'll hand you the keys. He later quit and opened a hamburger joint down the street. He didn't charge enough...it lasted about a year or two. And to boot, his burger was'nt worth a damn.

 

[bigleo48]

My 2 cents;

First, I agree that a minority of customers cause a Majority of the problems. Just ask any cop...they're always going to the same places and dealing with the same people with the same problems. I worked for cable company when I got out of college. The call center stats proved it...9 out of 10 trouble tickets (outside of outages) were for the same people, over and over. So we started firing those customers as we never made any money from them anyway. Databases...gotta love it!

Second, people are where they are in their lives for a reason. I met many people that I thought were good people that were not in good situations. At first I always wondered how they got there. After getting to know them I realized why every time, that they caused their own misfortune.

Third, poor people spend money impulsively. When I was a kid, I fixed ice-cream bikes for a couple of summers. The bikes never went to rich areas...the poorer the better for sales. Top 10 areas were all low rental housing.

I agree with Red Baron...sometimes you need to fire the customer. I think of it this way...if they go to the competition, then they'll be a problem to them. If they tell 10 friends...hell they don't have 10 friends cause their idiots! And we all know when we hear BS from an idiot...so I don't think it matters. Finally, if they do have ten friends, then that will be 10 less idiots to deal! So anyway you slice it...it's all good!

Red Baron...they're not worth losing your cool over...but I know that's really hard to do.

BigLeo