A little bit of humor to start or end your day

[I.B. Washincars]

He loses his ice scraper and thinks he can just drive to the car wash and leave his mess there. Inconsiderate jerk!

 

[I.B. Washincars]

 

[MEP001]

So full of ignorance:

 

[I.B. Washincars]

Mep, I think you posted this in the perfect place, the humor section. I can't imagine too many people taking advice from that clown.

 

[MEP001]

He knows his stuff about car repair, but obviously nothing about washing them. The last bit made me laugh out loud, the "dirt all over the place" from the horrible job it did is the crud from around the trunk gap that got flushed or blown out by the dryer because he's too much of a slob to ever clean it properly.

 

[OurTown]

If you think Scotty is ignorant about auto washes then take a look at the comments.

 

[I.B. Washincars]

 

[MEP001]

"Touching cloth," been there too often.

 

[I.B. Washincars]

 

[MEP001]

That chocolate cake should have cooled down a little more before it was frosted.

 

[soapy]

This social distancing thing is nothing new to me, people generally stay 6 feet away from me anyway. I went to the grocery store today and the girl scouts are selling scented TP for $5 per roll and can't keep it in stock. Is anyone surprised that TOm Hanks got the Corona virus, after all he ran through all those contaminated States. Thats all I got so far.

 

[Kramerwv]

 

[mac]

I got a new pickup truck for my wife the other day. Thought it was a pretty good trade.

 

[I.B. Washincars]

I saw a ad for a coffin, made me think.... that’s the last thing I need .

 

[MEP001]

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

 

[I.B. Washincars]

VERY INTERESTING FACTS ! !
Dead Penguins - I never knew this!
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
scroll down
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"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It's so easy to fool OLD people.
I am sorry, an urge came over me that made me do it!!!
Oh quit whining I fell for it, too

 

[MEP001]

Ok...

A scientist working at an aquarium discovered a food that would make the whales, dolphins and porpoises live forever. Unfortunately, the main ingredient was newly-hatched seagulls which could only be found on a certain beach accessed through an area where many lions hunted. He hatched a plan, and set off with a large amount of meat, found the shortest path to get to the beach, and laid out the meat for the lions. It didn't take long for them to find it and begin to gorge themselves so he could slip past unnoticed.

He made it to the beach safely, gathered lots of seagull chicks and headed back. When he reached the lions, they were sleeping off the food, so he was able to quietly step through and right over them.

When he reached the aquarium, the police immediately arrested him. He was charged with transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

 

[I.B. Washincars]

 

[I.B. Washincars]

 

[I.B. Washincars]

An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca’s, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’